I don’t want to let anyone see what I think. I can’t imagine truthfully telling someone what’s running through my mind. If I can’t stand that pain, why would I give it to someone else?
I had to hide the cuts last night. I masked them with makeup and kept my legs crossed. No one saw. I don’t know what I’d do if someone did see. The only people that know are Kitty and Lilly. I want to keep it that way. It’s embarrassing. I’m so damn pitiful. I love doing it though. It feels better than the hell breaking loose on the inside. It’s the only calmness I can find here.
This is my little secret. I can keep it to myself. It’s better this way. No one would listen to me anyways, so I might as well stay quiet.