I know I am the world’s worst blogger for abandoning my blog for months on end, but there wasn’t really much to write about until now. With that said, here begins my collective whining that I’ve been caching for the past seven months.
As you might have gathered I have the propensity to abuse a few particular bad habits.
- Doing somewhat stupid things when I’ve been blatently warned I shouldn’t
- Falling for people left and right because I’m an idiot
- Managing to tell all the wrong people all the wrong things
- Dwelling on any and all of my mistakes until I die
The combination of these “Fantastic Four”, as I’ve decided to address them, is the recipe for a special little something I like to call a mid-strife crisis.
Because confrontation is, to me, the ninth circle of hell, I tend to be on the more passive side and lock away any possible conflict in my own little vault of emotions. Once I’ve gathered enough troubles to fill it to the brim, I enter the various stages of a mid-strife crisis. The stages usually tend to consist of: crying, hunger, excessive bad puns, staying up too late agianst better judgement, lots of calls to mom, use of alliterations (see title), too much time on twitter, etc..
After I’ve successfully tumbled through every stage, I usually pick myself up and relapse back into the same stupid habits that got me there in the first place. I know you’d assume that after two or three times around the block I’d have learned better, yet, here I go falling back into the same patterns like clockwork. Finally, I sat down with myself and weeded out all the bullshit until I was left with just the facts: I just care too damn much.
The only solution I can think of is to just play it off like I don’t care until it becomes a truth. If everone else is convinced that I just don’t give a shit, then maybe I can convince myself as well. If no one knows any better, who will it hurt if I come off as cool, calm, and collected? Don’t get a good grade on that project you worked on for 3 weeks? Who cares. Best friend doesn’t call for a month? So what? So stressed you can’t see straight? No biggie.
Things are only as important or as real as we allow them to be. Our perspective is the only thing that can turn a catastrophe into a minor mishap. With only so little that we have the power to control in our lives we might as well take advantage of that split second where we have the upper hand.